"You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts."
Happy New Year, my loves! I am so excited to be up and running again. As you can tell (or not, if you're new here), I took a little break from blogging in December. Things were so crazy because I was finishing up grad school and because of the holidays etc. I was absolutely exhausted as I'm sure many of you were. Buttttt, I now have an MBA and I'm feeling amazing and truly more content than I have felt - ever, actually. I've learned a lot in regard to my career, my personal life, and have gained some of the most wonderful friendships.
Aside from school, I'm immensely grateful for the things I've experienced in the last two years. Primarily, because in hindsight, even the most negative experiences, and trust me they happened, all made me see life a lot more positively. You certainly couldn't tell me that then, but today I know, which, to me, is important growth. #smallwins
So, while I'm someone that believes that you can start fresh every day, there is something special about the start of a new year and the fact that even the most pessimistic people find hope. I, for one, truly believe that 2017 will be special. I also am determined to make it so. This of course has a lot to do with our actions, but something I've learned over the years, particularly in 2016, was the power of our thoughts.
I'm sure you've heard of the Law of Attraction or The Secret, but if you haven't, the idea is that your thoughts manifest your reality. Obviously, no one feels 120% all of the time. If you do, please comment what drugs you're on below...so so curious haha! Life is a roller coaster, but I think it's important to know that when you're being your very best self, you're truly open to all that life has to offer, and you have the faith to believe that life will always work out for you in the way that it should, then you realize that the panic, the anxiety, and the stress of wanting is absolutely useless. I'm choosing to live in a state where my expectations are abundance, because I am abundant in all capacities and that is all that I deserve - the very best. Like attracts like.
Let me put it into more relatable terms. Disclaimer: Of course everyone has their varying opinions on love, but I'll assume that if you've read this far, you're at the very least open to my thoughts if not in agreement.
Here we go:
If you're a smart, kind, loving, respectful, and overall wonderful person (still flawed bc we are humans!). Would it make sense for you to want to date someone who is the opposite? Probably not. In fact, the reality is that you would never even say or consciously think that you want this type of person. More specifically, this person would be dumb, rude, cold, disrespectful, and overall someone your mother would lose her mind over.
The funny thing is, this happens all of the time, both to us and the people in our lives. Those glaring ugly qualities listed above, in the moment, will feel less extreme. After all, hindsight is 20/20. I don't believe that anyone intentionally dates that type of person, but your expectation for life and the people and things that come into your life will be a reflection of what you receive. This means that your ability to identify what you really want and what you think you deserve is crucial to your life, as it will be the foundation for what becomes your reality.
Does this mean that the most wonderful people won't run into awful people? Absolutely not. In 2016 alone, I had my fair share, albeit small, of worthless dudes (sorry, not sorry!) Was it because I loved the fact that they were inconsistent, or that they lied, or that frankly, they weren't fit to be my counterpart? No - obviously. But I do think that my inability to fully acknowledge and explicitly define who I was and what I deserved allowed the wrong things and people to linger a little longer than they should have.
Forget dating for a second though, we do this with everything. It really just depends on how we view ourselves and the circumstances that we're in. People do this with jobs and in their friendships too, the list goes on. While I will always tell you to be humble, I believe you can humbly love yourself and assert your value in any situation.
I want to remind you that being open is important. Vulnerability is important. However, having standards (which can vary from person to person), and having high expectations for yourself and for those who are part of your life is an absolutely wonderful and NECESSARY thing. Your solidified view of yourself whether or not you are explicit about it will reflect into your reality in ways that you never thought possible. When we aren't solid on who we are and what we deserve it's a lot easier for people and things to come into our lives and lead us to believe otherwise (most times this is completely unintentional). These are lies and more importantly, they are the negative reflections of these people or situations that are now being wrongfully impressed upon you.
Picture it like this: you've allowed someone with a dirty rag to "clean" your mirror as you stand in front of it. They leave and suddenly you can't see yourself clearly. We can't just blame them and their dirty rag, but we have to take responsibility for allowing that person to have control of our mirror. Is it always easy to tell that someone has a dirty rag? No and I know that people can be manipulative. However, I also know, from experience, that when we want things and people for the wrong reasons, deep down, if we're being honest, we allow some questionable things to happen and then act super surprised when we realize that in fact that person or thing was wrong all along.
I'm sure when you think about the term "ducks in a row" your first thought is someone who has it all together (at least seemingly). But after some research, I found that having your "ducks in a row" has a lot more to do with preparedness for what's next. That is absolutely beautiful to me, and I hope you're thinking the same. This year, having my ducks in a row will be about making sure my thoughts, my mind, and the faith I have in life are expectant of the very best and that they reject anything and anyone that challenges my abundance. Be prepared for what is for you!
My wish for you in 2017 is to do the same. I'm praying for all of our hearts and minds to be prepared for the good that we so deserve, for it is surely ahead of us.
Last but not least, I want to encourage you to challenge the thoughts and situations that make you think any less of yourself. It's certainly not going to be easy peasy, babes. One of my resolutions this year is to not give a f&$k. That being said, I'm still a classy lady and there is certainly a tasteful and gracious way to communicate how you're feeling. Lay your cards on the table, you'll be surprised to see that most people (and for sure the only type of people you'd ever want to entertain in your life) will respond well. Life is short. Be honest about who you are, what you want, expect, and demand the very best in any situation. YOU are the prize.
I'll end with with my favorite quote in life ever because it is oh-so fitting:
"In life and love, be all that you are asking for."
Let's kill 2017!
New Yorker | Lover | Believer